CONSULTANTS

Learning the principles of argument is a key personal development skill that all and sundry needs to learn in order to live a relatively enemy free life. We argue in order to learn new things that we have hitherto been ignorant of. We do not argue to show off our wealth of knowledge or to intimidate others, yet, this ugly situation is a common occurrence, even among elites. Smart people learn through argument while foolish people create loads of enemies while arguing. In this article are tip that will help you argue smartly and learn new stuff rather than create enemies.

7 (SEVEN) TIPS ON HOW TO ARGUE INTELLIGENTLY

NEVER ABUSE OR CURSE SOMEONE DURING ARGUMENT OR FRIENDLY DEBATE

Nothing hurts more than when people’s ego is being attacked. A friendly argument can easily turn soured as soon as a party feels insulted or abused. The initial resentment that is bred could go beyond the venue of argument. Enmity starts breeding from what started as friendly discussion. In all that you do, try as much as possible not to abuse or curse someone during an argument. I learnt this in a bitter way after a dear friend turned an enemy. I told him ‘he always argues nonsense’, this is bad, and I wished I can turn back the hands of time so I can select my words more carefully. I hope he reads this piece and realise how sorry and remorse I feel for being that abusive.

NEVER BE TOO AUTHORITATIVE

Another common mistake that a lot of people make during an informal debate is that they tend to be so
domineering. Not letting other people freely express their humble opinion can instantly create you enemies that you never wished to have. This is a temperamental issue that needs to be carefully managed so as not to live a life of loneliness and regrets. The issue of being too authoritative not only cause problem with your public life but also in your private life.

ALLOW OTHERS TO HAVE THEIR SAY

You will never gain anything from an argument if you be the only one that has all the say throughout the process. As obvious as this point might be, people still do it all the time without even realising they are doing it. One way of checking to know when you talk too much during a discussion is to casually scan the face(s) of the person/ people that are participating in the interaction. You should be able to read the frustration from their faces. Put yourself in your opponent’s position to see if you will be happy when a fellow converser does not allow you to be active in a forum.

INJECT SENSE OF HUMOUR INTO THE ARGUMENT

Friendly argument should be more of brainstorming than fierce argument. The vital ingredient that should not be missing in any informal discussion is sense of humour. Someone once said, without humour life sucks; learn to be humorous Humour is a major factor that enhances motivation to do anything which includes interacting with people.

REMEMBER THAT YOUR AIM IS NOT TO WIN

There is no price tag attached to winning any informal argument. Your aim is not to win or to make people buy into your ideas or philosophies but, to create a lively atmosphere for peace and love to reign. It is only in formal debates that the winner is entitled to one form of award or the other, yet, the use of abusive words have no place in official debates. Ask yourself; if abusive words and curses have no place in official debate that has some form of motivation, what business does it then have in casual talks that has no form of reward or incentive?

HAVE YOUR FACTS READ

It is hard for people not to believe what you say when they are presented with facts and figure. Do not bother dragging your point further when you are a position where your opponent fails to agree with you and you have no statistical facts to back it up.

KNOW WHEN TO SURRENDER

You will save yourself much energy that can be put to productive use when you know when to back out of an argument. The right time to surrender is that point in time when the heat starts to build. What I always do is to pretend as if I remembered an important appointment I had already committed myself to. This tactics has saved me many headache and creation of unwanted enemies. Experts call this approach ‘systematic debate surrender’. Use this same technique to avoid these avoidable troubles.

Lest I forget, argument in this contest is not the malicious or grievous exchange of words that ensued due to misunderstanding or misconceptions. It is the intellectual analysis and evaluation of situations aimed at convincing somebody or people with different opinion- call it a debate if you like.

A lot of people have resorted to avoid any form of argument all in the name of not creating unwanted enemies but, that is not the way out. You will greatly miss out of the enormous potential to learn in the process of exchanging ideas if you fail to engage in the mental exercise. All you have to do is to commit these argument tips to memory and you will be better off.

The good news about principle of argument is that it is learnable just like the principle of motivation. All you need to do is take that vital action! Remember that only you can do it for yourself.